Wednesday, December 19, 2007

4 straight hours of studying


I spent 4 straight hour studying for an exam today and all of that writing is from me. That is another full board of writing hidden behind one of the other ones. I was exhausted but it was well worth it because I think I aced that final.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Naked Indian Snowman

I didn't look that hard, but I can't even find one picture of the Naked Indian Statue that BYU has on campus so that those of you who haven't seen it can get a reference to how awesome this snowman really is. This picture is the desktop on my phone, and I feel saddened that I was not a member of the production crew for it. I find the little snowman in front to be the Pièce de résistance of the entire thing. I was walking out of class on the last day of classes and I saw the grounds crew breaking all of the snow off, I was in a hurry to try to catch the bus or else I would have stopped to take another picture of their progress, as they had cleared off everything except a giant afro of snow around his head. But you do not get to see it because I didn't want to wait an extra half hour for the bus to come. It was really funny.

Man Carves Wife a 6,000 Stair Path of Love

This is such a beautiful story. I dare you not to fall in love with it.

Blog Overhaul

Since I obviously feel it is appropriate not to be studying right now, I decided to start working on the blog layout overhaul I have been debating for awhile. I had haloscan comments, which I really like, but I don't get notified when someone leaves a comment, and that isn't cool. So updated my template, and I am going to work on customizing it a little bit more over Christmas break. I like playing around with HTML and pretending like I know what I am doing. Usually its not very successful.....

Monday, December 17, 2007

3 finals down, 3 more to go

I never have to worry about Creative Writing, Grammar, and Folklore ever again. Such a relieving feeling to have those done. It is really tough to keep myself motivated through the last few finals, the thought of sleep is always a tempting one that somehow attempts to convince me that I don't need to study anymore. Sometimes when I wake up I convince myself that I can study very effectivly by laying in bed and simply thinking about my classes. Doesn't really work as well as I like to tell myself.

Folkore was definitely my favorite class of the semester, possibly the best class I have ever taken. If I get my masters someday, Folklore will definitely be one of the programs that I look into. Crazy huh? But I was fascinated with the concept of collecting the folklore of different groups of people.

Fundamentals of literary interpretation on Wednesday, English Novel essay's due on Thursday morning, and Divine Comedy final on Thursday at 11 (worth 1/3 of my grade by the way).

I am unbelievably ready for it to be Friday morning.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Postsecret

There is a secret over at Postsecret that could have been sent in by me! I will let you guess which one it is, it makes me laugh every time I look at it. Also, makes me happy that someone else is going through the same thing I am. That is why the Postsecret project is really so great; it helps people realize that they are not alone in their sorrows or their joys. (or in their embarassments!)

How To Decide Who to Marry: By Kids

Mrs. Onion posted this on Weddingbee today and it was too cute not to share. I just loved this!

Kids Contemplate Marriage.

How would you make your marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
Ricky, age 10

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8

What do you think your mom and dad have in common?
Both don’t want any more kids.
Lori, age 8

What do most people do on a date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure?)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
Craig, age 9

When is it okay to kiss someone?
When they’re rich.
Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8

What is the right age to get married?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

Is it better to be single or married?
I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
Theodore, age 8

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

How do you decide whom to marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
Kristen, age 10

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Finals and Snafu's

The stress of finals hit me full force during my creative writing class tonight. I thought I was going to have to leave the room I felt so sick. It came after I computed the grades I had received in the class so far, and the grades I expect to receive on what I finished tonight, and the the whole thing did not leave me feeling very chipper. I realized that I have to pull a pretty fantastic grade on my final paper to get an A in the class, and I am disappointed in myself. I stupidly passed up on 10 easy points today when I didn't take advantage of a simple extra credit opportunity, instead choosing to waste my time on Weddingbee and Facebook. I feel hesitantly good about the paper that I turned in tonight, and I will most likely receive an A in the class, but I don't like that I have to be worrying about it. I worked so hard in that class, never turning anything in late, and honestly giving my full effort on every single assignment.

I am starting to hate the subjectivity of the English major because I think I have given a strong effort in every single class so far and there are still a few where I am fighting so hard to scrounge up every point possible to get an A. Is there no such thing as taking it easy for me?

I have 5 finals next week. 1 take home, very easy, all I have to do is put in the time. The other three are what have me worried though. A comprehensive exam about "The Divine Comedy" (which is a 400 level class), a comprehensive exam in Grammar (which I am still really terrible at), a comprehensive exam in my Fundamentals of Literary Interpretation class, and a comprehensive exam in Folklore. I shouldn't be that worried about Folklore, but the entire class is only worth 275 points and so every single point counts if I want to get an A.

Overall it is going to be a stressful, sleepless, overeating filled finals week. Whenever it starts to feel like too much I think about how I am going to be in Texas in 2 weeks and I start to feel a little bit better again. The BF just seems to have that effect on me.

Proprieting-Revised

Here is the final draft of my final short story for my creative writing class. It feels so good to be done with at least one of my classes. I think it turned out really well. I am actually going to send it off to try my luck at having it published, which is something I would like to try to attempt a little more often in the future.

Proprieting

Clark’s brain woke up at 6:32 a.m. but his body did not. A sensation of panic made breathing difficult because he wasn’t sure if his body still existed.

“Am I dead?” he wondered.

He told the muscles of his eyelids to lift open and they did. He spent 8 minutes telling his body to sit up but it would not.

He started to wonder if he was paralyzed, “ No, I can see my fingers moving. Look at my leg, can I move it too?”

He could see his left leg, which he threw up in the air causing him to roll out of the bed onto the floor. He cried out as he knocked his head against the cherry-wood nightstand that sat next to his bed. This action knocked him unconscious for 2 hours, until the driver of his work carpool group came to see if he had slept in. He had previously worked as a systems analyst for 12 years at Microsoft, where he was confined to a cubical for 9 hours a day on weekdays and attended swanky parties on weekends. He was 3 years away from a promotion and a pay raise of $5,673 per year. None of that would matter anymore.

A strong, antiseptic smell was the first thing he sensed upon waking at 1:00 in a hospital bed in Seattle, his eyes only opening after he willed them to do so for an entire minute. He laid in bed for 3 months while doctors worked him over attempting to discover the problem. Clark was 33-years old and it would take him 7 years to find a doctor who could explain exactly what had happened to him.

“You have lost your sense of proprioception. This is the ability to know if your body is moving with required effort, and communicates to your brain the knowledge of where your body parts are located in relation to one another. This condition is very rare, only a handful of reported cases in the entire world are known.” Dr. Singh looked sympathetic as he explained the gravity of the situation to Clark.

“Is it reversible?”

The Dr. paused a moment before looking over the tops of his glasses at him. “I am afraid we do not know enough about it to give you a reassuring answer concerning the reacquisition of your proprioception.”

Clark closed his eyes for 2 minute and 17 seconds to take everything in, and experienced the sensation that he had begun to grow accustomed to. In this action he felt like he lost all sense of who he was, where he was. Part of the diagnostic process for the loss of proprioception had included what should have been the simple act of closing his eyes and pointing to his nose. He spent 7 minutes and 32 seconds concentrating with everything he had, but was unable to do it. He felt helpless and allowed this helplessness to overtake his life, losing his job and all of his fair-weather friends in the process.. No one brought him flowers, and he never expected any balloons. He found the stark-white hotel room of the hospital to be an agonizing place, where time seemed to stop It wasn’t until he was released from the hospital that he realized time had been quickly advancing without his knowledge.

2 years and 63 days later Clark found himself walking into the lobby of the hospital once again. He hated it there, but his mother had insisted that he come down to see his nephew, 7 hours old.

“Congragtulations!” He told his sister awkwardly (he felt awkward every time he spoke to anyone).

“I know you are going to object, but please hold him for me,” his sister sweetly asked.

He started to object, but she looked so tired and frail that he knew he could not refuse. It took him 12 seconds to lower into the nearest chair by glancing behind himself to see when his body and the surface of the chair would meet. The nurse seemed to recognize him (for he was famous throughout the hospital) and she gently laid the blue bundle into his arms, standing by to assist him if he should need it. He resented her closeness. He looked down as the baby hiccupped softly. Jealousy welled up inside of him. In many ways, he hated this baby for possessing something that he no longer had. That baby started to wail, and the nurse came and took it away. Clark was not ready for all of this. He needed more time to accept his new life. It was painful for him to be around a creature that possessed the one thing he desired most, a fresh start at life.

As he hurried through the hallways of the hospital, he nearly bowled over a bald, sickly looking girl in a bright pink robe.

“Merry Christmas!” She smiled up at him, handing him 3 mini candy canes.

It was then that Clark cried for the first time since his brain woke up without his body. He squatted down right next to that little girl and hugged her so tight he worried she might break. She started to pat his back and told him everything was going to be okay, and he believed her.

The next morning Clark burnt his finger as he tried 8 times to get his english muffin out of the toaster. He ran his swollen finger under cool water for 47 seconds as he thought about how this condition had forced a complete redefinition of himself. When he didn’t know what proprioception was, he defined himself using his accomplishments. Now retrieving toast from the toaster without burning himself was an accomplishment. And yet, when he thought about this simple act of toast retrieval, he remembered burning his old self a few times. This thought made him smile. Or at least he thought he was smiling, without a mirror to look into it was hard to tell.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Sister Snow Pictures




My (gorgeous) sister and I took pictures in the snow this weekend. The weather was perfect, bright with cloud cover. No squinty eyes but absolutely gorgeous skin tones! I love doing photo shoots like this, and I want to send out a big thanks to my freshman roommate Kelli Saunders for coming out and taking the pictures with/of us. (If you are having a baby and you would like some newborn pictures taken, let her know!) We are definitely going to have to do something fantastic with pictures this good :)

True Crime Diary

I discovered this website through Daily Candy this morning. I would really love to be able to write non-fiction like this one day.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Police Beat 12/7/07

Disorderly Conduct
Sept.10-Nov. 11: BYU Housing Services identified the perpetrators of a series of stink bomb attacks in Helaman Hals. Upon further investigation, they found that three students were responsible for persuading nearly every resident on the floor of their hall to participate in the attacks.

(I kind of want to meet those guys)

Theft
Nov. 5-6: A 26 year old male reported his wallet stolen after using it at the Creamery on Ninth East. His driver's license, an American Express card, two debit cards, to credit cards and two Victoria's Secret gift cards were in the wallet when it was stolen.

(If I were a 26 year old male, I don't think I would want to report my stolen VS gift cards. Just makes you wonder who he was giving them to.)

Trespassing
Dec. 3: Two male students were talking in a bedroom in their apartment in Wyview Park at approximately 4:30 am when they heard a noise in the living room. When they entered, they found a man in the living room. They were unable to get a description because it was dark and the man quickly left the room. They searched the apartment, but did not find anything missing.

(This is just plain creepy.)

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Overheard in the Library

Cheating

"Have you ever cheated on a test?"
"No"
"I did once, would you like to hear about it?"
"Sure"
"It was in first grade. On a spelling test. The word was "the", but they pronounced it like "thee" and I knew that it was spelled different in the scriptures and so I didn't know what to do. So I looked on the paper of the boy next to me."
"You are a terrible person."
"I was under the age of 8 so it is okay."

Monday, December 03, 2007

94.5%



I got a 94.5 on my Dante Purgatorio exam! I finally feeling like the hard work that I have put into this semester is really paying off.

Friday, November 30, 2007

The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks

I am not sure that I would think this site is as funny as I do now if I wasn't taking grammar currently. It never fails to make me laugh out loud. Has "Jesus" saved your soul?

Thursday, November 29, 2007

When late morning rolls around and you're feeling a bit out of sorts, don't worry; you're probably just a little eleven o'clockish.


I had a rough night last night, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better.
  1. I fried my video camera by plugging it into the laptop power supply (accidentally)
  2. By shorting out the camera, I froze a tape that I really needed inside of it. I had spent several hours creating a voice over for my Grandma of the ranch documentary I am working on, and then I had to call her and ask if she would redo the whole thing and overnight it to me.
  3. I cut 10 hours of video into a 2 1/2 hour video, exported that video into a 2 1/2 hour movie, and have thus far been unsuccessful in getting the 2 1/2 hour one onto my brand new (so pretty) external hard drive.
  4. I woke up, did my hair, put on some makeup (a strange thing for me) and came all the way up to campus, only to discover that I had forgotten my laptop. Luckily my sister was at home, and completely willing to hop right out of bed into her car to drive me back and forth to get it from my apartment.
It's kind of an Eeyore day so far.

Weddingbee

I have a new obsession. It is one of the most addicting sites that I have ever visited. Weddingbee. It is a wedding themed blog updated by brides across the country as they discuss everything pertaining to their own weddings.

All of the brides have the cutest handles, like Kiwi, Mangnolia, and my favorite flower, Gardenia. Each new batch of bride bloggers choose a nickname from a group, the newest group being types of desserts. Yum!

I check it obsessively, so much so that I have even started reading through the archives. The posts are organized by bride, and I have read through the complete weddings of 3 different brides. There is no end in sight in terms of reading them all (something I am gleeful about).

I am in love. I am going to buckle down and write daily, so that when Swayzie finally proposes I can become a bee myself!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Proprieting

Proprioception. It took 33-year old Clark 7 years to find a doctor who could explain what this word meant for his life. If you were to ask him to explain this word to you it would take him at least 15 minutes to give you the full meaning. Often called the sixth sense, proprioception is the way that the body determines where it is in relation to itself; a sense that all human beings inherently have. Clark will say that this definition is incomplete, that no person could ever understand what proprioception is until they no longer have it. He completely lost his sense of proprioception 13 years ago, leaving him to stumble through life without any sense of self-awareness. When Clark closes his eyes he cannot touch his nose. Without his eyes open, Clark cannot point to his mouth. Losing his proprioception has meant losing everything about himself.

Clark worked 12 years for Microsoft, where he stared at a screen for 9 hours on weekdays and attended swanky parties on weekends. He was 3 years away from a promotion and a significant pay raise.

One day Clark’s brain woke up but his body would not. He panicked because he wasn’t sure if his body still existed, he wondered if he had died. He told his eyes to open, and they did. He spent 8 minutes telling his body to sit up but it would not. He could see his left leg, which he threw up in the air causing him to roll out of the bed onto the floor. This action knocked him unconscious for 2 hours, until the driver of his carpool group came in to see if he had slept in for work.

He woke up at 1:00 in a hospital bed in Seattle, his eyes only opening after he willed them to do so for an entire minute. He lay there for 3 months while doctors worked him over attempting to discover the problem. He felt helpless and allowed this helplessness to overtake his life, losing his job and all of his fair-weather friends in the process. He found the hospital to be an agonizing place, where time seemed to stop. It wasn’t until he was released from the hospital that he realized time had been quickly advancing all along.

8 months after he woke up he lifted a cup to his mouth for the first time. Each step of the process had to be isolated and done in the correct order. First he looked down at his arm, bending at the elbow and moving the entire arm towards the cup. He made his fingers curve to fit the form of the cup, and after weeks of practice he bent them together around the slender ceramic body. He willed his arm to move up and towards his lips, looking in the mirror across from his bed to guide it to his lips. Without the mirror he had no idea where his lips were, and during previous attempts he had soaked his chest. His sheets and gown had to be changed, an action that took at least 22 minutes each time. The first taste of water presented to his mouth by his own accord awoke a new sense of independence within.

Each jerky attempt at drinking caused him to feel like a marionette on a string. Though the jarring motions were distracting and unpleasant to behold, they broke up the monotony of his life in the stark white hotel room. No one brought him flowers, and he never expected any balloons. He watched summer turn to winter 3 times before he moved home from the hospital for good.

This condition had forced Clark to redefine himself completely. He had learned to use his sense of sight as a blind man relies upon the sense of touch. When he didn’t know what proprioception was, he defined himself using his accomplishments. Now retrieving toast from the toaster without burning himself was an accomplishment. And yet, when he thought about this, retrieving toast from the toaster, he remembered burning his old self a few times. This thought made him smile. Or at least he thought he was smiling, without a mirror to look into it was hard to tell.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

"Please drop your trousers"

I went to the urologist today. When I was in the examination room I realized that the rooms are not soundproofed at all. This means that as the older gentleman next to me was having his examination, I was privy to every word while I waited for my own examination to begin. "Drop your trousers", "turn and cough", I heard it all. Apparently he has hemorrhoids and an enlarged prostate. I tried to hum and read all about Rosamond Vincy in Middlemarch but it was SO LOUD. I was saved from hearing all of the gory details of the rest of his visit when my Mom called me to chat.

This did have a negative effect on my own visit as I was constantly censoring myself as I wondered whether the person next door to me was listening in. Those are the kind of visits that I don't like sharing the details of.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Ward Activities

I have been thinking about ward activities today. It stems from a discussion (fight?) I had with a friend of mine about a week ago concerning Family Home Evening. I began the discussion defending the point that I didn't have to go to FHE because I don't have a family and thus FHE is not for me because I am not a single. Turns out this is incorrect, and now I am no longer sinning in ignorance. I will just continue to sin in defiance by not going. It is a waste of time and I hate it. So there.
Anyways, this girl in my Sunday School class was complaining about how no one comes to the ward activities and this got me thinking about the true purpose of these ward activities in the first place. Are we having them just so that everyone will come and the activities committee will feel good about themselves? Isn't the purpose of these singles ward activities to give people a chance to socialize. Thus if I do not have the desire to socialize I should not be required to go. It makes sense doesn't it?

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Free Hugs

I gave out free hugs on campus for a class project involving doing something outside of my comfort zone. It was awkward, as was to be expected.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Relieving Extraction

The esthetician had warned her against using her fingernails to squeeze. Because she had stopped biting her nails recently they were extremely accurate, yet deadly in terms of scarring. The acne wasn’t a new thing for her, but she had seen it clear up significantly before she started college and did not understand why during her senior year it had popped up again. The $135 spa facial didn’t do anything for her, despite their complicated explanations behind the zit-zapping laser she had endured. Now it was back to infomercial acne systems accompanied by 60-day money back guarantees.

She felt it developing all day today, was unable to prevent herself brushing her fingers lightly against it. She felt the pressure of that zit building up inside her, the pressure reached down deep below the surface, all the way back to her skull. Both of her presentations were given yesterday, luckily, because she would have been touching her face constantly throughout them. One of her TA’s always seemed to have a new crop of acne whenever he did review sessions and she always found it difficult to concentrate on the material he was presenting while he constantly touched his chin.

There it was, just below the hairline on her right temple. It had developed into a white top-hat sitting on an angry red mountain. She pressed against it with the tip of her index finger and felt the pimple press back with exacerbated resistance. She thought about the latest pamphlet she had picked up from yet another company claiming to know the answer to her acne dilemma. Glaring up at her was a cross section of a giant pimple, this one as big as her hand laid flat against the paper. The pimples pictured weren’t ever sporting a white-domed peak like hers, but looked just as pissed off.

She had learned from this pamphlet that deep down below the angry red mountain there sat a collection of sebum. The word actually made her shudder, it was so disgusting. She could not bear the thought of leaving something with a name so repulsive to sit inside of her. No one could deny it would eventually explode with the right amount of pressure. This giant mountain sitting on her temple would put on a magnificent show of discharging discharge.

In high school she had learned from a friend that the secret to drawing out everything with minimal scarring was using the hooked end of a bobby pin. The bobby pin was her primary method of eradication until she discovered “The Extractor”. One end of The Extractor has a basket that forms a perfect circle around the pustule, forcing everything out and catching all of the slimy pus in one quick motion; the other as sharp as a lance.

She relished the thought of the tip breaking through the barrier of her skin. Sometimes at night, she and the roommates lift up their shirts exposing their backs to one another. They proceed to go to work searching out any blackheads or pimples to pop. Sometimes the pressure is so great that someone invariably cries out against the pain, but rarely does anyone ask to stop.

She pressed her finger against the tip of the lance, and then flipped The Extractor over and sized up the basket. She reached up and touched the zit once more, feeling the hard center blocked up with sebum and smiled at the thought of the way it would feel after it was all over. Her temple would throb a little bit, and if she squeezed too hard some blood would escape. Sometimes she squeezes too hard so that the pimple becomes a scab that scars over and takes weeks to heal, no matter how many times Vitamin E was applied to sink in overnight.

She lined up the basket of The Extractor carefully, making sure that the dull outer rim didn’t block the pore she was attempting to open. She pressed down firmly and didn’t stop until the pimple erupted open, shooting out pus hard enough that it hit the mirror. She smiled because it was over. The scar would be worth the release of the pressure that she felt.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Fire Alarm and Fall for Dante

They have been testing the fire alarms in a few of the buildings on campus this week and I was able to experience my first delayed class due to one. We all stood outside for about 10 minutes until the siren stopped sounding and the majority of the people started to move back inside. I thought it was great that there were several girls who insisted that we were not supposed to be entering the building yet because the emergency doors and stairway gates were still shut. I didn't think that was going to be a good enough excuse for Dr. Sowell so I went ahead and went in anyways.

It was a good thing I headed back in to class when I did because I had the chance to fall in love with my Divine Comedy class and Dante's Divine Comedy all over again. I thought that my Professor did an excellent job with his lecture today, inspiring me to give Purgatorio another try as I was about to write it off as high-brow impossible classical junk. I will not question Dante's brilliance again.

I am loving this blog.
Just one more sign that I am truly becoming an English Major.

Friday, September 28, 2007

My Very Own Special Collections Boyfriend

Dear Boy-with-Headphones-Blasting-Eating-Treats-in-the-Library,

No one here finds you funny. Not even me. Although I may be smiling and looking your direction, I am actually mocking you. The rustling of your cheddar flavored processed snack food grates on my nerves as I attempt to process the deeper meaning of Dante. The Music Videos you are watching are most likely inappropriate, and definitely an activity that you could be engaging in with your "homies" back at your casa. Possibly you forget that you are in the library, where people are quiet and serious, and never very forgiving. Feel free to come back when you desire to act like a respectful human being.
Sincerely,
Girl Who is Attempting To Study

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Who is That Girl?

My name is Jenna and this is my blog. I am from Washington, live in Utah, and have plans to move to Texas rather soon. I love photography, discovering new food, and absolutely anything related to weddings. If you want to read about wedding related things head on over to the That Bride blog. I am currently a student at BYU majoring in English, and after I am done with that who knows what I will end up doing. I love reading and replying to your comments so please feel free to leave me something saying hi!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

PostSecret of the Week


It would seriously be so fun to sort the postcards for this blog.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

PostSecret of the Week


I like how general this postcard is. Made by someone who has alot of secrets, and wants to justify them. They took a picture that has been used all over the internet and didn't state exactly what their issue is. I have secrets I am also ashamed to admit.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

PostSecret of the Week


I cried when I saw this. It says what I can never communicate to my own father.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

PostSecret of the Week



Please hurry and find me.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

PostSecret of the Week

I think this is one of the most romantic postcards I have ever seen. I miss being in love.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

PostSecret of the Week

There is someone out there like this for me..................
Hope I get the chance sometime soon.........

Monday, March 27, 2006

What I am doing right now

I dropped out of school, due to the 4 weeks that I missed when I was sick. Don't worry, I am planning on going back. I got a job working at an assisted living facility as a nurses aide. Basically I am changing diapers (or briefs as we call them) and suprisingly, I really like it. Not the changing diapers part, I don't think you could ever really like that. But I am working the graveyar shift 10:30-6:30 and I love nto having to get up to go to work, I am already awake when I go. And I don't fall asleep through my shift, actually when I get home I am really keyed up and I have a hard time falling asleep at first. Most of all I love taking care of these people who can't do things for themselves. I pity them and somehow love them all at the same time. And of course there are the funny moments, good stories to come home and tell my roommates. Even though sometimes they don't totally want to hear them.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Whoops there I am



The past two weeks have been weird to say the least. I have been really sick, I am actually back home in Washington right now. I have been through three different diagnosis', the first that I just had a cough, the second that I had whooping cough, but a chest x-ray revealed that I have pneumonia.
I was coming home for Jr. Miss anyways, we just moved my flight up a week. I am feeling a little frustrated because I started to feel better almost as soon as I got home. Not that I don't enjoy having someone cook for me and taking a break from real life for a week, I just don't know how I am going to recover from missing 3 weeks of school in a row. I think I probably could have gone to class tommorow and been fine. I will just have to send out the doctors note that I got and hope for the best. I really like the use of the word "convalescence".

I missed Preference by coming home. That was painful for me. To spend 2 months planning an activity and then drop out the week of. I will find out next week how it went.

Shaylene is Jr. Miss this weekend. She is going to do amazing, she is so gorgeous I sometimes have a hard time believing it. I will post some video clips sometime soon.

I am going to submit our Chicago video to google video and see if I can get it put on the internet. How fun!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Mi Vida Loca

Things I am Doing Right Now

-Materials manager for a Student Body election campaign
-Event lead for Preference, which will hopefully be attended by 2000 people with 5 activity options and 3 different dances.
-Taking 8 credits, neglecting all of them
-Working an average of 12 hours a week for catering
-Doing my own banquet next week!
-Feeling guilty for not having the Chicago video done (although it will be amazing when I finish)
-Feeling guilty about the crappy relationship that I have with my Mother (we have had one conversation in the past 3 weeks)
-Organizing Murder Mystery Dinner Parties like crazy, I have 4 scheduled now, 2 with set dates and invitations already given.
-Avoiding cleaning up my disgusting room, which hardly had any available walking space
-Avoiding the use of my car whenever possible, trying to WALK EVERYWHERE!
-Eating one meal a day (this is on accident, I am just really busy)
-Not ready my scriptures enough
-Trying to decide my plans for the Summer
-Still feeling good about a mission this Summer
-Spending way too much time on Facebook
-Trying to prep my computer for the Jr. Miss video manufacturing
-Trying not to think about how I am going to soon add 5 more credits on to all of this
-Trying to get a dinner group started so I actually eat dinner

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Attack of the Lizard



What kind of a cruel joke is this? Those poor poor little girls.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Another email excerpt

I keep including these because its easier to let you know whats going on through the emails that I send than when I try to write up a post.

Ifrom you. I loved getting own letter this time, not a mass email, which is always so much nicer. Tonight I was carving pumpkins with my friend Katie Shirley (now Katie Apker, but I hate calling her by her new last name) and I attached my finished project. Pretty much the only time that I get crafty during the year is at Halloween, so I am always very proud of my pumpkins. Freshman year I carved a ballerina, and last year I carved Marilyn Monroe and a Witch (not on the same pumpkin, at different times). But those were all done from patterns, and this year I broke out the big guns and came up with my own idea. And as you can tell I am very very proud of it. I think I am going to try carving watermelons next summer.

My life is insane right now. To put it lightly. I don't think I ever told you that I have an 80's club on campus, but I do, and so I spent the week manning a booth on Wednesday and Friday, and then manning my XBOX at Friday Night Live last night. It was really fun, and its fun having a club, but I don't think I realized how much work it would be. More than anything I just wanted to see if I could even get one started. Now I think I want to see how large I can get my member base to be, because there were alot of people who couldn't believe I would do this when I started. I now have 60 "members" but that really means I have had 50 people put their name down on the email list (or else I know them and made them be on the email list)

Next week I am in charge of the Baby Pageant that BYUSA puts on during Homecoming, and it is such a huge mess. We hardly have anyone signed up, and I am thinking that tomorrow or Monday I am going to have to go through Wymount and Wyview and knock individually on peoples doors and ask them to sign up. I love doing this, but sometimes its so frustrating working with volunteers because I have had so many people fall through on their responsibilities. But I just have to remember that maybe this isn't as important to them as it is to me, and maybe they are as busy as I am, something I usually find highly unlikely. Oh now I am just being mean.

I am in danger of failing my Italian class again, and it is really starting to stress me out. I sometimes wonder if things would be better if I took some time off from school or something, I don't know. My sister informed me today that she thinks I am going to be married soon, because of the things that my Patriarchal blessing talked about. LOL I told her that I was just about as far from marriage as a person can get.

Catering is awesome, and their is chance that I will be promoted next week. They are really overbooked as far as banquets all of the time, and right now they are desperate for captains right during the times that I am available. I am a little nervous about the idea of being promoted, its a big responsibility, but it is something that I have wanted for awhile now. I know I would make a really good captain though. Catering has over 40 banquets scheduled for next Friday during Homecoming, and I don't know how we are going to get it all done. I have heard rumors about members of the First Presidency coming during that Football game, and I am hoping they are true, because otherwise I guess they come during the Thanksgiving football game and I think I am going to go home for that one. I served the First Presidency a few weeks ago though, and when I served President Monson's table he shook my name and asked me my name and where I was from. It was amazing to be in the presence of someone like that. Yes, catering does have its perks, other than the free food of course.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Dear Silent Observer

I have yet to implement the wall of shame idea, but I personally have been doing the 10 minutes of cleaning a day and it works wonders for me. I do it because I know that when that 10th minute is up that I can stop, no matter what. Even if I am in the middle of washing the dishes and I have 3 dishes left, I can walk away because I have done my 10 minutes. Instead of looking at it as some daunting task, I have turned it into some essential like brushing my teeth every day. Thanks for this suggestions. After I have tried it out for myself a few weeks I will suggest it too my roommates, I know that if we each did 10 minutes our apartment would be sparkling all of the time. Now I have no more guilt about not doing my part around the house. You have made a huge difference for me.

Readers (if there are any of you), I will be updating shortly about the banquet I served with 5 of the Quorum of the 12 and the First Presidency present.

Monday, September 19, 2005

My Catering Bonus

Tommorow I am going to be in the same room as Gordon B. Hinckley. And we are not talking the Mariott center here. I got a spot serving on the banquet that the First Presidency will be at tommorow. 150 people will be in that room and I will be one of them. And I am not going to FHE. How does that work? But I am planning on putting in a good hour or two reading my scriptures tonight. Expect a full update soon.

By the way, I have been working in the President's Loge for catering at the football games and so far I have served Elder Oaks some Ham, and Elder Perry asked me where I am from last week. I love this job!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Question

My friend Brad introduced my apartment to a new song tonight. It's on repeat and I can't stop. Do relationships like this still exist?

Question by Old 97's
She woke from a dream
Her head was on fire
Why was he so nervous?
He took her to the park
She crossed her arms
And lowered her eyelids

Someday, somebody's gonna ask you
A question that you should say "yes" to
Once in your life
Baby, tonight I've got a question for you

She'd had no idea
And started to cry
She said "in a good way"
He took her by the hand
Walked her back home
And they took the long way

Someday, somebody's gonna ask you
The question that you should say "yes" to
Once in your life
Maybe tonight I've got a question for you

I've got a question for you...
Discuss amongst yourselves.........

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I've seen better days

This is from an email that I sent to my parents tonight it's been a tough week for me

I really should be doing my Italiano Compiti (italian homework) but I am so frustrated that I am afraid I will waste my time at the library by mulling things over and over. Hopefully I can write this to you as a way to vent, and then focus on "getting 'er done" as the cowboys in Texas say.

I yelled at one of my roommates, Benita, today because I was annoyed with her. We sat down and had a roommate meeting a few weeks ago and tried to work out some plans for things like doing the dishes, and who gets to park in our assigned parking spots. So last week Megan left on Wednesday and asked me to trade her my spot for hers (so I would park in her spot that week, and she would park in mine for this week), and I didnt really want to but I said yes anyways. Well we discovered that you can park in the spot between our spots, and so when I came home and saw that it was open I parked inside of their, leaving the other 3 spots open for everyone else. Everyone else parked their cars in our assigned spots, and I left mine in the other for the entire week (which by the way, is something we have always talked about, but nobody has ever done). So Megan got home on Sunday, and on Monday night I moved my car to go grocery shopping. I figured since it had been so long since I had parked in one of our spots, and it was late at night, and there were no free spots, it would probably be okay for me to park in one of our assigned spots? Considering the fact that this would be the 3rd week in a row that Benita had been parking in our assigned spots, and Megan didn't leave and vacate her spot until Wednesday last week.

So I come down to the living room to go to the library with Heather and I am greeted by Benita who lets me know that I parked in her spot this week. I was frustrated that nobody has seemed to recognize what I had done the week before, and so I told her that maybe since she parked in our assigned spot all last week that she could park in some free spaces this week. Well that didn't go over so well, since that wasn't what was on the board. Now that I am telling you this story, I am annoyed with Megan as well because she should have the good sense to realize that she should park in a free space until tommorow. It's all so stupid, but these are the kind of things that will drive us all crazy. And I get annoyed if I am the only one who is trying to make sacrifices like that.

You are probably laughing at me right now, and I was hoping that this would all be theraputic, but I am only getting more annoyed. I am just a little stressed about this coming week and all of the things I have scheduled for myself. I have to stop doing this, but I don't. And I don't know why. And I am frustrated because I should have done the dishes, but I didn't so Heather did, and now I feel bad because she always does. But I figure, why should I be the one to break down and do them? I don want to be the nice person all of the time, let someone else take responsibility for themselves. We tried to work out a system for the dishes, but it sucks and it isnt working at all, and Heather just ends up doing them all the time because she is too nice like that. I was the only one who wanted to assign days, everyone else was afraid to do that because that would mean taking responsibility. So instead we decided to the same old system, just put your dishes in the dishwasher right after you use them. The problem with that is, that nobody ever unloads the dishwasher so it never is empty. Oh its such a mess, and I am frustrated because I don't know how to make things change. I need to try harder to do my part, but I am not going to take over everyone elses load as well. Maybe it would have been better to come and live at home during the Summer, I am tired of having roommates right now. I so am not ready to get married..........

I have been having headaches alot lately, at least one every night, and today I missed two classes because my head was pulsing and I was so worn out I couldn't even focus and I came home and went to bed and slept for 4 hours. So now I still have a headache, and I feel like I am behind in my classes. I have missed both of my "free" days for English already. Mom, I really want to take that hormone test, because I can't do this anymore, but I need to call you and get your help in figuring out the paperwork because there is alot of it that I don't understand. If I fill out the paperwork before I send it off, then I know I will be able to put it right in the mail. I need to buy more Prozac too, I have been out of it for 2 weeks, and I am really starting to feel the difference. And my IC has really been flaring up, not so much with pain, but with incontinence and it makes me feel like an old stupid person and I hate it.

My head has been hurting so bad, and I have been so tired at night that I have been going to bed without reading my scriptures and now I am so behind. I just have to focus on how good I feel when I am reading and doing things that I need too, Heavenly Father really helped me out while I was.

This email hasn't been too happy, I am sorry that I don't have more good news to share with you. I really need to go talk to the scheduler about working with that girl Mom, I am scheduled with her again on next Friday. Yuck. But maybe I am supposed to be learning a lesson from this. Today in my leadership class we talked about making a good leader, and it was interesting how many things I could come up with by thinking about the things that this captain does (and how they are the wrong things to do), and how she needed to be doing exactly the opposite.

I used my tips to buy some new shoes for work. They were really really expensive, but I am ending my shifts by limping around, and sometimes after a long day I can't fall asleep because my feet ache so bad they are just throbbing. So I figured it was worth it. You can check them out here. http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product_brandboutique.asp?styleid=2873370&boutique=dansko&category=2376778~2372811~2376403~2376404~2376405&NextStyleID=2873368&PrevStyleID=2873246
They fit like nothing that I have ever worn before. It feels like Dansko measured my feet and made shoes that fit me exactly. It was a wonderful, and it makes me happy just thinking about it.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

I started wearing this sleep mask earlier this year and now I have a hard time sleeping without it. I told someone once that is helped me keep my eyes closed and they laughed at me. I dont think they really understood.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Today in Italian class there was a buzzing noise in the back of the room and while we were whispering about it our teacher stopped to ask what was wrong. I mixed up the words noiso (boring) and rumore (noise) and accidentally said "che e noise". Essentially telling her "that is boring". She looked at me strangely, and then smiled and said, yes "rumore", "E rumore". It took me about five minutes before I realized what I had just said. I turned to the girl next to me and asked her "noiso means boring doesn't it?". She laughed and said yes.

Just another day in the life of Jenna.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Dane was looking for ladies in the WSC when he stopped by my 80's club booth. He is very available.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Time for me to start up on this dreaded homework again. I did start doing some of the assignments this summer though and that was one of the best choices I have ever made. I am retaking my Italian right now because I didnt do so well in class before and yesterday I was the smartest person in class! One girl even asked me for my phone number and said she wanted to study with me. I love this!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Just Like a Movie

Remember the boy from this post? The one who is going to China? Well I have news.

He came over Sunday for the last time and we played our favorite game "Bust A Move".

After the Xbox marathon we decided to head over to Del Taco, and I got a milkshake. We came back and played the 20 questions game (thanks for letting me have that Mom and Dad!)

My roommates came home and we all moved to the living room where Ben proceeded to fall asleep on the luv sack. My roommates all conveniently left (maybe it was a little bit arranged) and Ben told me he had to go. I stood up and we hugged, a sad-never-see-you-again kind of hug. He knocked on Benita's door and told her goodbye, and knocked on Heather's door and hugged her goodbye. I walked him to the door and we hugged again, and he got my email address and left.

I walked over to Heather's door and told her that I couldn't do it, I couldn't kiss him. All of the sudden Heather is pushing me out the door and telling me that I have to go after him. I am so scared that I am almost crying, but somehow I do it.

I ran down the stairs and heard his car door slam as I stepped off the last step. He was backing up his car and so I yelled

"Ben wait...."

I walked up to his open car window, looked inside and smiled, reached my arm in and pulled him too me and kissed him. A long beautiful perfect kiss, that still makes me smile every time I think about it.

I pulled away and told him I would miss him. "I'll miss you too".

We ended with something stupid like "I'll email you." and he drove away.

Now I miss him more than ever. 9 months is a long time.

Friday, August 12, 2005

I think that my doctor forgot about the appointment that I had with her. When she misses her appointment with me do I get to charge her a $15 rescheduling fee?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

RC


Living it up in RC right now. Slept in until 1. What a life.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

My past three days have been spent babysitting. Lots of dress up and playing pretend and solving major problems. You know problems like how she wants the slinky and he wont give it to her. I dont know if I can handle much more of this. How am I ever going to have kids of my own?

Monday, July 25, 2005

Installment #1

Hello Everyone! What I am about to do kind of makes me regret ever telling people I know about this blog, since I hear from random people who told me they read my blog. But this is something that has been bouncing around inside my head for awhile and its time to get over my fears and do it.

I am going to try to write a novel. I know it sounds crazy and even as I type the words I am tempted to hit the backspace bar and start all over. Actually I am tempted to just hit the x in the upper right hand corner and close down this entire screen. But I am not going to. On the basis that I only know some of you through the internet (and those of you who do know me in real life are not usually people I am constant contact with, I don't think), I am going to publish installments here for the world to see.

Why am I doing this? Well other than an obvious attempt to reveal a few things about myself, I am going to cross my fingers that some people will be willing to give me some friendly advice. Not only spelling checks but plot & character development, names, places, events. You get the idea.

This attempt is inspired by the things that are happening in my own life, things that I am going through. Mainly repentance, making changes for the better. I do want you to know that I am basing this on my life, this is not me. This is a fictional character that I have invented and placed in a context in an attempt to communicate some thoughts and feelings I have been working through. Maybe I will regret this, who knows.

All I ask is that you respect me for what I am trying to do.

So here it is. Installment #1. No title as of yet.

Jaeda'’s screen glowed brightly in her room around her as she clicked through the internet sites late that night. She had a habit of prolonging sleep late into the night by browsing the web. It wasn'’t that she didn't like sleeping, but it always took her awhile to get there. She shuddered as she remembered the stories her high school teacher had told her about waking up in the middle of the night and being unable to move. She knew that if something like that happened to her she would never get into bed at all.

She glanced over at her roommate who was sleeping peacefully next to her. Reese always managed to get herself into bed before the clock struck midnight and wouldn'’t wake if Jaeda turned up the music and danced around the room in her underwear. She work a furry pink sleep mask, along with earplugs, and slept seven straight hours no matter what. Reese's roommates all laughed at her for being so strict about her bedtime rituals, but she was a good student and keeping her full ride scholarship was the most important part of her life right now.

Jaeda'’s attention turned back to the screen as she saw a glowing red box blinking against a white screen. She squinted a little as she read the bold black words.

Warning: Adult Content

Must be 18 or older to continue

Click to Continue

A curiosity that had always been present suddenly exploded in her mind. She had always wondered about what sites like these contained, what could be the harm of just glancing inside?

It'’s probably just full of naked girls, and since I am a girl it isnÂ't really bad for me,"” She thought quickly “I can understand why it would be so forbidden for men but it'’s not like I will want to come back and see it again. Her mouse moved hesitantly as it traced a path towards the words click to continue. In one smooth movement her index finger pressed down and it was less than a second before it hit her. An explosion of color, sound, and images hit her all at once. She had a hard time taking it in at first, and laughed out loud as she realized her own reaction. She scanned the left side of the screen taking in all of the different options she had to choose from. She chose one, telling herself that she would only take a quick look, and turned her screen a little more towards herself, away from the view of her sleeping roommate and the door.

Sisters

My sister is staying with me this week while she is at Volleyball camp. It's fun having her living out of my room, but look at what she has done to it! It's hard enough keeping my room clean by myself, but having two of us up here is quite the disaster. Plus it gets about 10 degrees hotter at night with two girls sleeping up here. My ward met her yesterday and nobody believes that she is only 16. Can you believe it? She is absolutely gorgeous. My dad has his work cut out for him, luckily he has that Andersen scowl.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Here I am with my new blonde hair!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Could this be love

So I think I have fallen for this boy in my ward. His name is Ben, and I say that completely without being worried because I am 99.9% positive that he will never read this or know anything about this blog.

I had been back and forth about whether I was intersted or not for awhile (I tend to be that way about boys), but then on Saturday night after we went to Vermillion Skies together (alone) he asked for a hug when we came back from the cafe. It was just so out of the ordinary (and I have issues with hugging anyways, a topic for another post another day), that it jolted me right into liking him. For some reason that hug was irresistible to me, and now I can't stop thinking about him. We semi-cuddled on the couch on Sunday night, I am pretty sure he made an effort to sit closer to me than he normally would have. I just get so scared that I am blowing things out of proportion in an attempt to be hopeful.

There are four problems that I am running into.

1-I don't know how to show him that I am intersted without being pushy. I try to invite him to do things with me, text him every once in awhile, be extra flirty. I can be pretty brave when I flirt sometimes, and have even told him that I liked him, but done it in such a way that I am sure he thought I was just joking.

2-He is going to China on the 18th of August. He doesn't know how long he is going to be gone. Basically if he is interested in something happening it is just going to be a 2 week fling. Because I am going to be gone for 2 weeks out of this next month.

3-He has no trouble talking about other girls in front of me. I can understand that you can be interested in several people at once, and that we are pretty good friends by now. But if I like someone, I make an effort not to talk about other members of the opposite sex that I might be interested in in front of them.

4-He drives me crazy. You would have to know him to know what I mean. My roommate Benita knows. He is a little bit of a poser. A wannabe. He tries to hard sometimes. But for some reason it is slightly endearing, the things that he does that would usually drive me crazy seem to make him that much more alluring.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

We had our big stake campout this weekend. I didnt get lucky, and despite my best efforts I didnt make a whole bunch of new friends but it was still worth going too. The mountains were beautiful this morning but I am still not sure that it was worth getting up for.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Shoutout to Keestan


Hello Keestan! Thanks for visiting my site. Isn't this a cute picture of you at our Family Reunion last year? If you want to you can add a comment at the bottom.

The $100 air conditioner that I bought for my room. When I plugged it in this room was 95 degrees and now it is hovering around 78. Much much better

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Re: Spammers

Susan-I don't care about the PPV alert. I don't know what a "Chlld" is. Rena, the same goes for you. (Although I do like your name)
Juliana-don't you know how to spell Blockbuster?
luis bradley-I am not buying the "unbelievable income project". You were too lazy to write out the money, you just used the $ symbol. Tsk tsk.
Della Montoya-Please explain to me why you used a period in the middle of the word bud.get? Does that have any kind of special connotation that I don't know about?
Sean Bledsoe-"Fw: Softwa_re by the original manufa cturer at generic pri -ces." I don't get it.
Swawn Gregg-Yes the "Re: Account# 1757K" trick again. You have tried to sneak that one by me before you sly devil. Well it didn't work then and it won't work now.
And last of all, the chinese people. Or maybe its Japanese. You see, I know so little about your language that I can't even tell the difference. So all the time spent in those very personal emails you are sending to me seem to be a waste. Best of luck to you.

The damage to my car after I rear ended someone 3 weeks ago

Monday, July 04, 2005

SOF means Stadium of Fire

I have decided to make Zuchinni bread this week. Stop laughing. If you stop laughing right now I will let you have a piece.

I need to get out more


create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

Expect a post about my week of Stadium of Fire to follow shortly. I am just too tired to work on it right now.

A little taste of the fireworks! I hope to mobile blog a lot from now on.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Follow Ups to Previos Post

First response-Nurse, who thinks I went overboard
Second response-Girl who appreciates my response
Third response-Reply to the nurses response, that thin and fit don't have to go hand in hand

Thursday, June 30, 2005

The question was submitted to the board. They answered it. Someone even wrote in and went into more detail for her. I felt like none of the answers so far were good enough. So I wrote in my own, we will see if it gets published (or how much of it).

Original Question
Dear 100 Hour Board,

I need to lose weight. I'm 24 and I weigh 175 lbs---and I'm a girl. I don't think that the goal of losing 35 lbs is too lofty. That would put me down at a healthy (and yet still hefty) 140 lbs. So I've started to make positive diet changes (not fad diet---but just good, responsible eating choices). I've also started to exercise.

My question concerns the intensity of my workout. When I choose the "Fat Burn" option on the elliptical machine, it says that I need to maintain a low heart rate---only 127. To tell the truth, it's hard for me to keep it that low. The first time I worked out, when I wasn't concentrating on going slow, my heart rate would get up to about 170. Then I'd have to force myself to go slower again.

Now I know that I've heard that for losing weight, you want to keep the workout at a fairly low intensity, but why is that? Don't I burn more calories when I go faster? Do I really have to exercise at such a low intensity if I want to burn fat?

- Phatty McPhatt
My reply

Phatty McPhatt (and I won’t call you dear),
I was so infuriated by your name and some of the comments that you made in your question that it took me a few days to cool down enough to send this in to you. I took some time to look up a few statistics for you. I will give you those and then let you know what got me worked up so badly.

* The average American woman is 5'4" tall and weighs 140 pounds.
* The average American model is 5'11" tall and weighs 117 pounds.
* Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women.
* Four out of five American women say they're dissatisfied with the way they look.
* On any given day, almost half of the women in the United States are on a diet.
* Almost half of American children between first and third grades say they want to be thinner.
* Americans spend over forty billion dollars a year on dieting and diet related products.
* Between five and ten million women and girls in the United States struggle with eating disorders and borderline conditions.
* One million boys and men struggle with eating disorders and borderline conditions.
* The number of people with eating disorders and borderline conditions is triple the

Sources: Crowther et al., 1992; Fairburn et al., 1993; Gordon, 1990; Hoek, 1995; Shisslak et al., 1995., US Department of Health and Human Services, HIV/AIDS Surveillance Report 1998, Treatment Advocacy Center, 1999, Smolak, 1996., Mellin et al., 1991., Collins, 1991., Shisslak & Crago, 1995.

So there are the statistics. We are a nation obsessed with models like Kate Moss and Gisele (women who will not even release their weights to the public because they are so painfully thin) The average American woman is 5'4" and 140 pounds. You can’t be much shorter than that, and if you are taller than you will carry around more weight than someone like myself who is only 5’2”.

I was infuriated by your insinuation that 140 lbs is a hefty weight. I graduated from high school at 140 lbs and I was gorgeous. I filled out my clothes and had breasts, and hips, and thighs and I look back at those days and envy what I was before I came to college and stopped being so active and hit the 185 lb mark that I am at now. Yes, 140 lbs is hefty, for a 10 year old. For a 25 year old WOMAN 140 lbs is beautiful. You will have hips for bearing children, and breasts for providing life for them. You will fit into your clothes how they were meant to look, and the men around you will appreciate you for the beautiful daughter of God that you are.

How much do you know about Marily Monroe? Did you know she was 5 feet 5 ½ inches and weight 140 lbs? Pretty average I would say, and yet she was the sex symbol for an entire generation. Maybe even more than that. In 1999, Marilyn was voted the 'Sexiest Woman of the Century' by People Magazine.

I am not sure where you are basing the assumptions that 140 pounds is “hefty” (my best guess would be from the monster that we call the media), but I suggest you check out the article found at http://medialit.med.sc.edu/pre.... Also, look at the page found at http://homepage.mac.com/gapoda... (Caution, woman in a bikini is pictured, so do not visit of this will be offensive to you). They took an absolutely gorgeous woman and destroyed her. All in attempt to make her look perfect. They fixed her belly-button for Heaven’s sakes. What could possibly have been wrong with her natural belly button?

And yet after all of this you made the biggest mistake of all. Your name. Phatty McPhatt. Maybe it was meant as a joke. It wasn’t funny. I weigh 5 lbs more than you do, and every day I fight the urge to hate myself. I fight the urge to call myself names (Fat, ugly, un-loved, you name it) and hate my body, instead of respecting the beautiful temple that our Father in Heaven has provided me with. I can run, and jump, and spin in circles. I can laugh, joke, cry, and climb up to the Y if I so fancy.

So maybe Elle and Marie Clair won’t be approaching me for cover shoots any time soon. But even if they did, I would tell them no. Because I don’t need that. Phatty, I hope that you will seriously consider your attitude about yourself and what is normal and right for you. Someday you will have daughters of your own, and I hope that you can help them to proud of themselves and their strong beautiful bodies as well. No matter what size they are.

Please also see sites- Adiosbarbie.com and about-face.org

Sincerely (very sincerely),

One who believes in the power and beauty of a real woman

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Italy is Out

It's over folks. I was dropped from the study abroad program over a week ago. Maybe next time (if there is such a thing for me).

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Excerpt from letter to Heather

I worked catering tonight and I am so happy because I think I have an in with 2 of the captains. Tonight 2 of them told me that they really liked me and thought I was a hard worker, and Candice (one of the captains) even told me that she wrote some good things about me on my evaluation. I think if I go in and talk to Aubrie and Robyn (who is an event coordinator) my chances of being able to work when I come back will be greater. I really like working there and I hope I can do it when I come back in Winter. I really want to work as a captain though because you know how I love to have power.


So today I rode my bike to school for the first time because I thought that would be a good idea, which it was on the way to class because it was fun and I was going downhill and everything was right until I was turning up the little path in between the MOA and the HFAC and another biker was coming and you know how when you first start biking again you are really unsure of yourself (like how I hate to stop at intersections because I am always afraid I won't be able to get my bike going again and the people in the cars will laugh at me, and how when I was crossing this morning I tried to get on my bike but it wasn't happening fast enough so I got back off and just walked it across the street?) So anyways we were both coming and he was coming from the south and I from the north and I cut the corner too close and scraped up my leg SOOO bad. It was black for awhile and even bled. I actually ran into the cement corner so hard that I must have cried out (I had headphones on) and the 2 girls behind me turned around and looked at me to make sure I was okay. The other biker gave me a weird look and I am sure thought I was crazy.


So then at the end of class after I had run all of my errands and stuff I went back and got on my bike and my backpack was so heavy and I am so out of shape that I made it to Heritage Halls and then I pretty much WALKED all of the way back up to my house. It was humiliating because I am sure that everyone thought A. she can't ride her bike or B. she is too out of shape to ride her bike up hill (when it wasn't even a very steep slope you know). But I decided that I am going to make myself ride every day as punishment for letting myself get so out of shape in the first place. Plus it is really nice to ride all the way up to the doors when I have to go to class and the ride there is so fun. Maybe tonight I will empty out my backpack a little bit so it is not quite so heavy and I think I will get a little farther.


Note- I did ride my bike to school today (in the rain even) without hitting any concrete walls! Instead of walking it home though, I decided to ride the bus back and a nice boy taught me how to put my bike on the front of the bus. Yay for nice boys!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

outre de à Paris

I'm going to Paris! It's all I can think about right now, and I am floating on cloud nine. I will be staying in Paris for a week, right after our study abroad gets done. Anyone have any tips for me? Time for me to learn some French as well.

I am a pretty cherry red color right now. 3 hours in the sun by the pool was a little to much today.

I do have to sell my car to go though. Pretty Pretty Bella. I love her. We have had some good times, but the Eiffel tower awaits!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Lost on a Sunday Afternoon

Today is Sunday and I feel lost.

I am lying on the grass under a huge pine cone tree (I don't actually know the name of it) on one of the blankets I got at graduation that at one point or another during my Freshman year had holes burnt through it by the ashes of a fire

I keep looking at the sky, which has a perfect blue color. And wondering what it all means.

I didn't go to church today. I don't know why, because when I went to bed last night I had every intention of going. For some reason I just didn't make it.

At least I made it out of bed

I am scared by what this could all mean. Scared because I don't think I have any way of figuring it all out.

I am unhappy and I don't know how to fix it. I was at a party last night and I felt myself opening up to that happy feeling for a few minutes.

It was like in some way I had stepped outside of myself and was watching everything from a distant perspective. A boy paid a little extra attention to me, and for a few moments I was in the middle of a flurry of activity, but then it was all gone.

I had a hard week last week, at one point working 30 hours in 3 days. I didn't go to class for three days straight and I am kicking myself for putting myself in such a position that I have to deal with the agony of being unsure again.; I have to keep myself out of this and remember what is important. Italy is important. Second chances are important.

I need someone. I need someone to talk to. I just don't know how to go about doing it.

Monday, May 16, 2005

A new beginning

I really like the flower beds next to the library. Actually I love all of campus in the Spring. It smells wonderful.

I usually try not to post so close together, but today I say screw that. I woke up with a bad attitude today and I am not sure why.

While laying in my bed last night I spent alot of time thinking about my blog and what I wanted it to be. Funny how something so silly sounding as a blog can become so personal. Now that it is Summer again, I feel like I have alot more time to write. I take that back, I do have alot more time to write.

So, I have decided to start a new period in my blogging. Alot of the stuff that I haven't written on here has been very superficial, the kind of things you would expect to see on my to do list, or what I would tell you in passing if you stopped me to ask "what's up".

I had refrained from writing personal stuff, the stuff I was really feeling, because I was afraid of the consequences. Now I am done with that, and I plan on blogging real posts from now on. Things that really mean something to me.

Hence the name "A new beginning" for this post.


Image hosted by Photobucket.com



See that girl? That girl is everything I want to be. She is blissfully happy to be where she is. Something that I am waiting for, it elusive, but I think I will get there soon. Something hits me whenever I look at this picture. Something about the way her arms are stretched out, and the way her head is thrown back so carelessly. Nothing about it seems posed, though it is obviously so. I use this photo as a reminder of what can be for me.


Oh, and by the way.







You Belong in Rome


You're a big city girl with a small town heart

Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome

Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand

And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?


What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.



Sunday, May 15, 2005

Synopsis

Sometimes Utah is really out of control. Dissecting a dog?

What is going on here?

Teacher says you have been a very very bad boy, go sit in the cooler.

Even little Royal City never had this happen at their school.

Every time I log on to update, I want to tell some great story like many of the other bloggers that I read up on daily. I can't seem to think of anything exciting to write, which I think is probably a problem that plagues most bloggers.

I am not dating.

I don't have a particulary exciting or eventful job. In fact I don't really even have what you would consider a job. Just a temp.

School is Italian, well actually my life is Italian.

I think the reason is that to have something to write about you need to get involved in something. Basically I have no desire to get involved with anything because I am only here for 6 weeks (4 more now), and then I am back home for 2 months. It's hard to get excited about things that are going to last for such a short period of time.

I do plan on using this blog as a way to communicate with those I know back home once I am in Italy.

Until then everything will be subject to randomness.

Acutally I should amend the above comment. There are a few things I wouldn't mind expounding on, but there is always the chance that something I expound on will hurt someone I care about.

Check out Poundy.com. I have been reading her book, and except for the occasional swearing, I am really liking it.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

The Good Old Days

Remember when I used to spend alot of time browsing the net and finding crazy/cool links to post on here? Well tonight is one of those days.

Grant Robinson has two cool sites you should check out.
The first is a photo montage creator, just type in a keyword and it will generate a montage from Google's image search.
The Second is called Guess-the-Google, you have to guess what the keyword was that generated a certain photo montage.
The third is interesting expirement into the World of Stereotypes.
I
have a fourth link that I will eventually share with you, if it works.
It is supposed to be free ringtones that you create yourself from any
mp3 or mp4 file. More about that one later

It is 2 in the morning and i just woke up an hour ago from a 5-hour "nap". I will probably head back to bed in 2 hours or so. I am listening to the 13 Going on 30 Soundtrack, which I love, but is a big no non since I am trying to only listen to Italian music during the week, weekends I give myself a break. Oh well, what are you going to do?

My roommate is yelling at me for typing too loud. If you hate it get a private room honey.
 
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