Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Could this be love

So I think I have fallen for this boy in my ward. His name is Ben, and I say that completely without being worried because I am 99.9% positive that he will never read this or know anything about this blog.

I had been back and forth about whether I was intersted or not for awhile (I tend to be that way about boys), but then on Saturday night after we went to Vermillion Skies together (alone) he asked for a hug when we came back from the cafe. It was just so out of the ordinary (and I have issues with hugging anyways, a topic for another post another day), that it jolted me right into liking him. For some reason that hug was irresistible to me, and now I can't stop thinking about him. We semi-cuddled on the couch on Sunday night, I am pretty sure he made an effort to sit closer to me than he normally would have. I just get so scared that I am blowing things out of proportion in an attempt to be hopeful.

There are four problems that I am running into.

1-I don't know how to show him that I am intersted without being pushy. I try to invite him to do things with me, text him every once in awhile, be extra flirty. I can be pretty brave when I flirt sometimes, and have even told him that I liked him, but done it in such a way that I am sure he thought I was just joking.

2-He is going to China on the 18th of August. He doesn't know how long he is going to be gone. Basically if he is interested in something happening it is just going to be a 2 week fling. Because I am going to be gone for 2 weeks out of this next month.

3-He has no trouble talking about other girls in front of me. I can understand that you can be interested in several people at once, and that we are pretty good friends by now. But if I like someone, I make an effort not to talk about other members of the opposite sex that I might be interested in in front of them.

4-He drives me crazy. You would have to know him to know what I mean. My roommate Benita knows. He is a little bit of a poser. A wannabe. He tries to hard sometimes. But for some reason it is slightly endearing, the things that he does that would usually drive me crazy seem to make him that much more alluring.

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