My past three days have been spent babysitting. Lots of dress up and playing pretend and solving major problems. You know problems like how she wants the slinky and he wont give it to her. I dont know if I can handle much more of this. How am I ever going to have kids of my own?

Installment #1

Hello Everyone! What I am about to do kind of makes me regret ever telling people I know about this blog, since I hear from random people who told me they read my blog. But this is something that has been bouncing around inside my head for awhile and its time to get over my fears and do it.

I am going to try to write a novel. I know it sounds crazy and even as I type the words I am tempted to hit the backspace bar and start all over. Actually I am tempted to just hit the x in the upper right hand corner and close down this entire screen. But I am not going to. On the basis that I only know some of you through the internet (and those of you who do know me in real life are not usually people I am constant contact with, I don't think), I am going to publish installments here for the world to see.

Why am I doing this? Well other than an obvious attempt to reveal a few things about myself, I am going to cross my fingers that some people will be willing to give me some friendly advice. Not only spelling checks but plot & character development, names, places, events. You get the idea.

This attempt is inspired by the things that are happening in my own life, things that I am going through. Mainly repentance, making changes for the better. I do want you to know that I am basing this on my life, this is not me. This is a fictional character that I have invented and placed in a context in an attempt to communicate some thoughts and feelings I have been working through. Maybe I will regret this, who knows.

All I ask is that you respect me for what I am trying to do.

So here it is. Installment #1. No title as of yet.

Jaeda'’s screen glowed brightly in her room around her as she clicked through the internet sites late that night. She had a habit of prolonging sleep late into the night by browsing the web. It wasn'’t that she didn't like sleeping, but it always took her awhile to get there. She shuddered as she remembered the stories her high school teacher had told her about waking up in the middle of the night and being unable to move. She knew that if something like that happened to her she would never get into bed at all.

She glanced over at her roommate who was sleeping peacefully next to her. Reese always managed to get herself into bed before the clock struck midnight and wouldn'’t wake if Jaeda turned up the music and danced around the room in her underwear. She work a furry pink sleep mask, along with earplugs, and slept seven straight hours no matter what. Reese's roommates all laughed at her for being so strict about her bedtime rituals, but she was a good student and keeping her full ride scholarship was the most important part of her life right now.

Jaeda'’s attention turned back to the screen as she saw a glowing red box blinking against a white screen. She squinted a little as she read the bold black words.

Warning: Adult Content

Must be 18 or older to continue

Click to Continue

A curiosity that had always been present suddenly exploded in her mind. She had always wondered about what sites like these contained, what could be the harm of just glancing inside?

It'’s probably just full of naked girls, and since I am a girl it isnÂ't really bad for me,"” She thought quickly “I can understand why it would be so forbidden for men but it'’s not like I will want to come back and see it again. Her mouse moved hesitantly as it traced a path towards the words click to continue. In one smooth movement her index finger pressed down and it was less than a second before it hit her. An explosion of color, sound, and images hit her all at once. She had a hard time taking it in at first, and laughed out loud as she realized her own reaction. She scanned the left side of the screen taking in all of the different options she had to choose from. She chose one, telling herself that she would only take a quick look, and turned her screen a little more towards herself, away from the view of her sleeping roommate and the door.

Sisters

My sister is staying with me this week while she is at Volleyball camp. It's fun having her living out of my room, but look at what she has done to it! It's hard enough keeping my room clean by myself, but having two of us up here is quite the disaster. Plus it gets about 10 degrees hotter at night with two girls sleeping up here. My ward met her yesterday and nobody believes that she is only 16. Can you believe it? She is absolutely gorgeous. My dad has his work cut out for him, luckily he has that Andersen scowl.

Here I am with my new blonde hair!

Could this be love

So I think I have fallen for this boy in my ward. His name is Ben, and I say that completely without being worried because I am 99.9% positive that he will never read this or know anything about this blog.

I had been back and forth about whether I was intersted or not for awhile (I tend to be that way about boys), but then on Saturday night after we went to Vermillion Skies together (alone) he asked for a hug when we came back from the cafe. It was just so out of the ordinary (and I have issues with hugging anyways, a topic for another post another day), that it jolted me right into liking him. For some reason that hug was irresistible to me, and now I can't stop thinking about him. We semi-cuddled on the couch on Sunday night, I am pretty sure he made an effort to sit closer to me than he normally would have. I just get so scared that I am blowing things out of proportion in an attempt to be hopeful.

There are four problems that I am running into.

1-I don't know how to show him that I am intersted without being pushy. I try to invite him to do things with me, text him every once in awhile, be extra flirty. I can be pretty brave when I flirt sometimes, and have even told him that I liked him, but done it in such a way that I am sure he thought I was just joking.

2-He is going to China on the 18th of August. He doesn't know how long he is going to be gone. Basically if he is interested in something happening it is just going to be a 2 week fling. Because I am going to be gone for 2 weeks out of this next month.

3-He has no trouble talking about other girls in front of me. I can understand that you can be interested in several people at once, and that we are pretty good friends by now. But if I like someone, I make an effort not to talk about other members of the opposite sex that I might be interested in in front of them.

4-He drives me crazy. You would have to know him to know what I mean. My roommate Benita knows. He is a little bit of a poser. A wannabe. He tries to hard sometimes. But for some reason it is slightly endearing, the things that he does that would usually drive me crazy seem to make him that much more alluring.

We had our big stake campout this weekend. I didnt get lucky, and despite my best efforts I didnt make a whole bunch of new friends but it was still worth going too. The mountains were beautiful this morning but I am still not sure that it was worth getting up for.

Shoutout to Keestan

Hello Keestan! Thanks for visiting my site. Isn't this a cute picture of you at our Family Reunion last year? If you want to you can add a comment at the bottom.

The $100 air conditioner that I bought for my room. When I plugged it in this room was 95 degrees and now it is hovering around 78. Much much better

Re: Spammers

Susan-I don't care about the PPV alert. I don't know what a "Chlld" is. Rena, the same goes for you. (Although I do like your name)
Juliana-don't you know how to spell Blockbuster?
luis bradley-I am not buying the "unbelievable income project". You were too lazy to write out the money, you just used the $ symbol. Tsk tsk.
Della Montoya-Please explain to me why you used a period in the middle of the word bud.get? Does that have any kind of special connotation that I don't know about?
Sean Bledsoe-"Fw: Softwa_re by the original manufa cturer at generic pri -ces." I don't get it.
Swawn Gregg-Yes the "Re: Account# 1757K" trick again. You have tried to sneak that one by me before you sly devil. Well it didn't work then and it won't work now.
And last of all, the chinese people. Or maybe its Japanese. You see, I know so little about your language that I can't even tell the difference. So all the time spent in those very personal emails you are sending to me seem to be a waste. Best of luck to you.

The damage to my car after I rear ended someone 3 weeks ago

SOF means Stadium of Fire

I have decided to make Zuchinni bread this week. Stop laughing. If you stop laughing right now I will let you have a piece.

I need to get out more


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Expect a post about my week of Stadium of Fire to follow shortly. I am just too tired to work on it right now.

A little taste of the fireworks! I hope to mobile blog a lot from now on.

Follow Ups to Previos Post

First response-Nurse, who thinks I went overboard
Second response-Girl who appreciates my response
Third response-Reply to the nurses response, that thin and fit don't have to go hand in hand