Friday, February 29, 2008

Stuff White People Like

I hate to rip off emails from Daily Candy for 2 posts in a row, but this was too good to pass up. I had to stop reading it during class because it is that funny. I could no longer keep a straight face and pretend like I was paying attention (something that I strive to do about 1/2 the time).

Stuff White People Like is a blog that describes all of the quirky things that white people like. I know you are thinking, duh, that is the title of the blog, I got that. I find myself realizing with each new topic that myself and all of my friends are precisely described by these posts. My favorite posts include:

Multilingual Children
As white people age, they start to feel more and more angry with their parents for raising them in a monolingual home. At some point in their lives, most white people attempt to learn a second language and are generally unable to get past ordering in a restaurant or over-pronouncing a few key words. This failure is not attributed to their lack of effort, but rather their parents who didn’t teach them a new language during their formative years.

Musical Comedy
It’s a pretty good idea because when you have jokes that aren’t that great and music that isn’t that great, you can mix them together and create something that will entertain white people.

Bottles of Water

The leading edge of white people have started to use sturdier, refillable bottles. But do not assume this is from the tap. Most white people need to run their water through some sort of filter (Brita or PUR) before they put it into their bottle. This allows them to feel good about using a refillable bottle, but it also makes it more complicated, which they also like.

Oscar Parties
Attire is very important as well. Either dress in an fancy suit / gown or wear something that relates to one of the films nominated for Best Picture. So for the 2008 Oscar Party it might be best to put a pillow under your shirt and come as a pregnant teenager in tribute to Juno (by no means should anyone bring an actual pregnant teenager).

Study Abroad
By attending school in another country, white people are technically living in another country. This is important as it gives them the opportunity to insert that fact into any sentence they please. “When I used to live in [insert country], I would always ride the train to school. The people I’d see were inspiring.”

I am going to have to stop listing my favorites now because I think I will never stop otherwise. Let me know if you find any other gems hidden in the previous 60 posts!

3 comments:

Jeannie said...

I know, that site is flipping HILARIOUS! I love #32 Vegan/Vegetarianism:

"As with many white people activities, being vegan/vegetarian enables them to feel as though they are helping the environment AND it gives them a sweet way to feel superior to others."

Oh man, that was practically everybody at grad school!

amberdawn said...

The water bottle thing is so true. I laughed pretty hard at the study abroad one as well!! Can you come to my appointment with me on Tuesday at 11:30??

Jenna said...

Jeannie-There are hardly any vegetarians at BYU. That would mean being "different" which we don't want to do here. I can understand vegetarianism, but never vegans. I just love cheese to much.

 
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