Thursday, January 10, 2008

Is there any way NOT to disappoint you?

I can't seem to shake myself out of the strange mood I am in after meeting with a professor of mine this afternoon. I took my Ranch Life Folklore Documentary up to her in an attempt pitch the idea of making something similar for her class and I walked out feeling so......demoralized. I can't think of a word that describes it much better than that.

I had done my homework, preparing thoughts on the different concepts that might work for doing the project, and she really shot me down without listening to what I had to say. It became obvious that I had moved from a very liberal Folklore professor who was looking for new ideas and ways to approach the discipline to an older (I am not trying to be insulting, just pointing out that I think her age has something to do with how non-progressive she is) much more traditional professor. I admit that went into the meeting with hopes that might have been a little bit high, butI didn't expect her to react with such revulsion to the idea.

I am still stewing over it because she just kept saying to me, I am so disappointed in you. I am just so disappointed to you. Basically she was attempting to convey this message of "I expected so much more from you, and now I can see that you aren't anything and I think you will just be a disappointment to me throughout the rest of the semester." Part of the reason that she signed my add card was because my Folklore professor from last semester had given me a good recommendations, and I am not sure what she expected because of it.

I am frustrated. I am annoyed. I am also hurt. After an experience that I had which involved being attacked after doing nothing wrong, I am quick to get defensive when I feel attacked for no reason. I respect her opinion concerning what should be done in her class, she didn't even have the courtesy to watch the film. She would hardly even touch it, and pronounced it as something that would never be taken seriously, and was absolutely shocked that the folklore archives would accept it without at least a 5 page paper attached to it.

I think I will settle down after I have done the hours of homework that I have ahead of me, and I fully expect something like this to happen again because Iam never going to be the type of person who only does the minimum or what is the standard. I am always going to be pushing the boundaries as far as I can, and I would much rather grow up to be an open-minded liberal than a short-sighted traditionalist.


Kelli Nicole Photography said...

Do you want me to beat her up? Or at least write a nasty email? I am so up for that...just say the word...

amberdawn said...

Seriously! What is her problem? I am pretty sure that professors are supposed to help you, not demean you! I'm sorry Jenna! What an awful way to start the semester!

Joel, Sarah, and Eliza said...

Jenna! I LOVE your blog! Now I can keep up with you. And as one of your former teachers, you can tell this lady that you are NOT a disappointment and that you are disappointed in HER for her bad attitude. You were one of the best students I ever had. (And now I am teaching at Clemson....NONE of them even come close to your enthusiasm, brains, and creativity!) ---Sarah

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