Wednesday, July 07, 2004

The one with my thoughts on marriage

Right now I have one of those muscle twitches. The kind that drive you so crazy that you cant think about anything else.
I took the U.S. Citizenship Test on today. I failed, I am not smart enough to pass as an American. My old roomie Shelly would definitely not be proud.

This morning I did not brush my teeth. Gross I know, but I wasnt allowed. I am doing an adrenal test to find out if my body is as screwed up as I think it is. I am hoping that if my doctor figures things out that she can figure out a way for me to sleep a little less, I think that 10 hours a night is a little much.

It seems that the big topic of discussion today is marriage. Newsweek's article on "The Secret Lives of Women"target="_blank" is providing a startling glimpse of how far down our society has gone in the past 50 years.

The road to infidelity is paved with unmet expectations about sex, love and marriage. A woman who is 40 today grew up during the permissive 1970s and went to college when the dangers of AIDS were just beginning to dawn. She was sexually experienced before she was married and waited five years longer than her mother to settle down. She lives in a culture that constantly flaunts the possibility of great sex and fitness well after menopause. "Great Lovers Are Made, Not Born!" read the ads for sex videos in her favorite magazines; "What if the only night sweats you had came from a good workout?" ask the ads for estrogen therapy.

I wonder why society is taking so long to catch on to the fact that marriage must be taken a little more seriously to be succesful. Though it may be difficult, saving yourself for marriage will only work out better in the end. Imagine eating 30 different flavors of exquisite ice cream, and then be told that you are only allowed to choose one and you have to stick with it for the rest of your life. It would be very hard to stay with the chocolate-caramel-swirl, even though you love it and it is the on you chose, after you were able to sample all of the rest. Wouldnt the better decision be to wait until you were ready to handle the grandeur of that ice cream, choose one, and stick with it for the rest of your life? It would be so much easier that way because you would never have anything to compare it to, and therefore be happy with what you chose. A child who grows up in Africa can never be jealous of an American child who has the use of bathrooms and the wonder of television if they never have the knowledge of what they are supposedly "missing out on". It would be hard to argue that American children are the only ones who can be happy in life.

Is this making any sense? Basically what I am trying to say is that it seems to me that it is always much easier to mate for life. It reminds me of what Josie Geller tells us in "Never Been Kissed". Penguins spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin, and when they find them, they stick with their decision for the rest of their lives.

I am always told, "oh you are so young", "wait at least 5 more years to get married", "you need to give yourself a chance to live" etc etc. I agree in some ways, but I don't listen to all of that. I will get married when I know I have found someone that I can spend forever with. 3 generations before me everyone was getting hitched before they were even old enough to know what sex was, of course the baby boomer generation is a testament to that fact that they had no trouble figuring out how it worked. As we wait longer to get married, the infedelity and divorce rates continue to rise. I think that I will take my chances, rely on my own instincts, and find my penguin.
Or as Phoebe would say, my lobster. (The one with the prom video)

1 comment:

JGirten said...

Hey there.. I like your look at marriage and definatly your reference to Friends and the "LOBSTER".. ha ha you made me laugh out loud on that.. ha ha I enjoy reading your posts and hope you keep them going everyday. If you can please take a look at mine as well as I will try and update it daily.. ha ha

Take care lobster..


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